Beneath the surface

Muted, distorted sounds, surrounding me, pulsing and pressing into my brain.

Sounds of disappointment, anger, frustration and negativity create distorted words and phrases.

"You can't do that."

"You will fail."

"You are not good enough."

"You need to focus more on your kids."

"You need to work harder."

"You are fat."

"No one would want you."

I try to move through the sounds to get away,

Yet moving any part of my body feels like I am deep in a vat of thick slime,

Where movement is slow and ineffectual.

The lighting and blurred figures are disorientating.  

I scream, yet all that comes out is a nearly silent "glug".

The light is fading, and I feel as if I am sinking further down.

The words and voices are louder, I feel them seeping into me,

Becoming part of me, consuming me.

HCB